Ryan Shepard
About Author
January 23, 2024
Β inΒ 

Embracing Me-Time: A Crucial Practice for Black Moms' Mental Health

I want to explore a topic that hits home for many Black women – the significance of taking breaks from our responsibilities to prioritize self-care. Before you dismiss this as just another piece that doesn't consider the real demands on your time, let me assure you, it's not. I want to highlight why intentional pauses are crucial for us as Black women, recognizing the specific cultural and historical norms that make it challenging for Black mothers to prioritize self-care. Let's dive in:

Celebrating Individuality and Culture

‍Being a Black woman is a multifaceted experience, rich with history and culture. Taking breaks allows me to celebrate my individuality within the context of my cultural identity. It's a chance to reconnect with practices, traditions, and interests that are uniquely mine, creating a harmonious balance between self-discovery and cultural celebration.

Navigating the Intersectionality of Motherhood

‍As Black women, we often find ourselves at the intersection of various identities – motherhood being a significant one. Juggling the complexities of race, gender, and familial responsibilities can be overwhelming. Taking breaks provides the breathing room needed to navigate these intersections with grace and resilience, fostering a deeper understanding of the unique challenges we face.

Combating Superwoman Syndrome

‍The myth of the strong, resilient Black woman is both empowering and burdensome. While our strength is undeniable, we also need moments of vulnerability and self-care. Stepping away from the roles of wife and mother allows us to dismantle the Superwoman trope, embracing the truth that our well-being matters just as much as our strength.

Addressing Mental Health Stigma

‍Mental health stigma can be particularly pronounced within the Black community. Taking breaks challenges the narrative that seeking solace or prioritizing mental health is a sign of weakness. It's an act of rebellion against the stigma, showing that Black women deserve moments of peace, introspection, and self-love, just like anyone else. We deserve a soft life too, dammit!

Fostering Intergenerational Healing

‍For many of us, the echoes of generational trauma are tangible. Taking breaks becomes a powerful tool for healing – a conscious effort to break cycles of burnout and stress that may have been passed down through the ages. It's an opportunity to invest in our mental and emotional well-being, contributing to the overall health of our families and communities.

‍Yeah, Yeah...What Are Some Self Care Ideas I Can Actually Incorporate In My Life?

Incorporating specific self-care practices has been transformative in my own journey. Taking myself out on lunch or dinner dates, spending time in the gym, enjoying long soaks in the tub, and dedicating moments physically away from my family to reconnect with my best girlfriends have become essential elements of my self-care routine. These practices not only rejuvenate my spirit but also serve as a deliberate investment in my overall well-being. Here are some ideas for you:

  1. Spa Retreat Day: Treat yourself to a luxurious spa retreat day. Book a full day of pampering, including massages, facials, and other spa treatments. It's a perfect way to unwind, relax, and rejuvenate your body and mind.
  2. Wellness Getaway: Plan a weekend wellness getaway to a serene location. Choose a resort or retreat center that offers activities like yoga, meditation, and healthy dining. This getaway provides a holistic approach to self-care, focusing on both physical and mental well-being.
  3. Personal Development Workshop: Invest in your personal growth by attending a workshop or retreat focused on self-discovery and development. Look for events that cater to your interests, whether it's leadership, creativity, or mindfulness. It's an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect with like-minded individuals.
  4. Fitness and Health Coaching: Hire a personal fitness trainer or health coach to create a customized fitness and nutrition plan. This personalized approach ensures that your self-care routine aligns with your specific health and wellness goals, helping you stay fit and energized.
  5. Nature Walks or Jogging: Incorporate a free health care ritual by embracing nature walks or jogging in a nearby park. Spending time outdoors, breathing in fresh air, and engaging in physical activity can positively impact both your physical and mental well-being. It's a simple yet effective way to stay healthy without any cost.
  6. Exclusive Social Events: Organize or attend exclusive social events with other Black moms. These gatherings can include fancy dinners, book clubs, or private gatherings where you can connect with friends who understand the unique challenges and joys of motherhood.

Remember, self-care is about prioritizing your well-being, and these ideas offer a mix of relaxation, personal growth, social connection, and a cost-free health care ritual to enhance your overall quality of life.


Prioritizing ourselves and taking breaks as Black women is not just a personal choice; it's a revolutionary act. Acknowledging the specific challenges posed by cultural and historical norms, it becomes a declaration that our mental health matters, and by extension, the mental health of our families and communities. So, my friends, I encourage you to ferociously embrace your me-time. In doing so, we pave the way for a future where Black women are not just surviving but thriving in every aspect of life.

Here's to our well-deserved breaks and the empowerment they bring!



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