Ryan Shepard
About Author
February 10, 2024

How I Found My Perfect Match Beyond My 'Type'

When I was 25, I met this man and fell insanely in love with him. Truly, I thought he was my guy. We moved pretty quickly, and a few months into dating, we were talking marriage and a big move from Washington, D.C. to California. When we broke up, I was devastated. I cried over that man every day for an entire year. It took me longer than my pride would like to admit to get over him. I moved from D.C. to Los Angeles alone and started to move on with my life. I was single for over three years and happy to be. No one compared to the guy in my head.

Then, one random night, I went to a graduation party for a few folks from USC. I had also just graduated from my Master's program but didn't feel much like celebrating that night because I was sick. Anyway, a friend introduced me to this guy who she'd spoken about before but not in any special sort of way. I said hello, he said hello, and that was it. Nothing crazy. And when I tell you this man was absolutely NOT my "type"! He was a nerd through and through. No fashion sense, a massive Bob Ross looking fro, and he was just a big cornball.

Ladies and gentleman, that man is now my absolute best friend, husband and father of my two kids. So how the hell did I end up married to him? Dumb luck honestly and not listening to what I thought I wanted.

Here's what worked for us:

Initial Impressions vs. Authentic Connection

They say love often comes when you least expect it, and that couldn't be truer in my case. When I first met my husband, he didn't fit the mold of what I thought was my 'type.' He was different, unique, and, truth be told, I initially thought he was not someone I'd see myself with. Little did I know that beyond those initial impressions, a profound and authentic connection was waiting to unfold.

Laughter as the Unseen Connection

One thing I noticed early on was his ability to make me laugh. Laughter became the unexpected bridge that connected our worlds. His sense of humor, though different from mine, became a magnetic force that drew me in. I began to realize that beyond the surface disparities, we shared a language of joy and laughter that spoke to the heart.

Shared Values in Unlikely Places

As we spent more time together, I discovered that our values aligned in the most unexpected places. While our tastes in music, movies, or even fashion might have differed, we found common ground in our core beliefs, aspirations, and the way we approached life. It was a revelation that what truly matters goes beyond the superficial checkboxes of a 'type.'

Challenging Perspectives and Growth

Meeting someone who wasn't my typical 'type' challenged my preconceived notions. It forced me to question what truly mattered in a partner. It became an opportunity for personal growth, learning to appreciate differences, and understanding that love isn't confined to a predetermined set of criteria.

Strength in Vulnerability

What drew me closer to him was the strength he displayed in vulnerability. He was open about his feelings, fears, and dreams, creating a safe space for me to do the same. In embracing vulnerability, I discovered a depth of connection that transcended any preconceived notions.

Unwavering Support in Every Chapter

Through the highs and lows of life, he stood by me with unwavering support. His loyalty, understanding, and willingness to navigate life's challenges together became the foundation of a bond that surpassed any initial expectations. It was a love built on shared experiences, trust, and a commitment to each other's well-being.


In the end, I realized that love isn't about finding someone who perfectly fits into a predetermined mold. It's about discovering someone who, despite not being your 'type' on paper, complements and enriches your life in ways you never imagined. My husband, though not what I expected, turned out to be the perfect person for me.

So, here's to unexpected love, growth, and the beautiful surprises that unfold when you allow your heart to lead the way.

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