I’ve never been secretive about my mental health. Why would I be? There’s no shame in it. I’ve spoken openly about my experiences with anxiety, depression, and the ways I’ve managed both—including antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications I’ve taken for years.

But after 2023 knocked me on my ass—and I say that with the full weight of what that year brought me—it became clear that what once worked…just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Zoloft had been my lifeline for a long time, but it started to feel like it was keeping me afloat rather than helping me swim.

So, I talked to Shep and then my doctor. We all agreed: I needed something more.

At first we thought about upping the dose of the zoloft I was already taking but I was concerned because I was already at a fairly high prescription. Then one day, randomly, I watched the documentary How To Change Your Mind on Netflix, and it got me thinking. The documentary talks all about psychedelics (and other mind-altering drugs) and their role in treating trauma, depression, anxiety, and OCD. Something about it lit a fire in me—like maybe this was the next chapter. I was chatting about this with my GP at a routine wellness exam, and she mentioned that Emory was running a clinical trial on psychedelics for folks struggling with PTSD, C-PTSD, OCD, and anxiety. Ring, ring, ring—that’s me.

I never got a callback. Never heard a word, actually.

But something had already been set in motion. I started doing my own research—deep dives into peer-reviewed studies, anecdotal stories, and expert interviews. And with the full knowledge of my husband, my general practitioner, and my psychologist, I started microdosing psilocybin in November 2024.

Yep. Magic mushrooms.

Let me say the "duh no shit" part out loud: it’s not legal in Georgia. I’m aware of that. But it’s becoming more mainstream. Psychedelic-assisted therapy is being studied in clinical trials all over the country. Oregon and Colorado have decriminalized psilocybin. The tides are shifting—and honestly, they need to.

What is psilocybin?

Psilocybin is the psychoactive compound in certain mushrooms, and when taken in very small amounts (aka "microdosing"), it doesn’t make you hallucinate. It doesn’t make you trip. It’s not a party drug. What it can do, according to emerging research, is help quiet the default mode network in the brain—the part responsible for rumination, anxiety, and obsessive thinking. Sound familiar?

Studies from Johns Hopkins, MAPS, and other institutions have shown that psilocybin can have profound impacts on people with treatment-resistant depression, PTSD, OCD, and end-of-life anxiety. And yet, in every headline or podcast or article about microdosing, I rarely—if ever—see Black women.

So Why Am I Telling You This?

It’s always white women in wide-brimmed hats, moms from Brooklyn or Venice Beach, talking about how psilocybin helped them "find their joy again." And while I believe in their healing, I also believe we deserve to be reflected in these conversations too.

Because we suffer, too.

We are holding so much—ancestral trauma, systemic injustice, daily stressors, motherhood, relationships, work, survival—and we’re doing it often in silence because mental health is still so taboo in our communities. And if seeking therapy or meds is already stigmatized, let’s not even get into drugs for mental health.

But here’s what I can tell you, from my lived experience:

Microdosing has helped me tremendously. The ruminating thoughts? Quieter. My stress tolerance? Stronger. But the most unexpected gift has been the insight. Deep, honest, beautiful insight into my own story. I’ve been able to revisit childhood wounds with more compassion. I've connected dots I didn’t know existed. I've grieved. I’ve softened. I’ve found new ways to care for myself that feel sustainable, joyful, and dare I say—sacred.

It hasn’t fixed everything. Life still life’s. But I feel resourced in a way I didn’t before.

This isn’t medical advice. I’m not telling anyone to go out and forage mushrooms or buy something off Instagram. What I am saying is: explore. Ask questions. Be curious. You’re allowed to want to feel better. You’re allowed to imagine new possibilities for your healing.

And if you want to talk more about it—privately or publicly—I’m here. Truly.

Because we deserve to be well.

Yours,

Ryan

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