Ryan Shepard
About Author
February 13, 2024
Mom Life

Let's Talk About Sex Baby: Reconnecting After Childbirth

Let's dive into a topic that often hovers in the shadows – the postpartum sex journey. Bringing a new life into the world is nothing short of miraculous, but let's be real – the prospect of getting intimate again after giving birth can be both exciting and scary AF. So, grab a cup of tea (or a shot of whiskey– no judgment here!), and let's have an open and honest conversation about approaching sex after welcoming a baby into your life.

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Give Yourself Time

First and foremost, there's no rush. Your body has been through an incredible transformation, and it needs time to heal. Both physically and emotionally, it's crucial to let yourself recover before diving back into sex. Listen to your body, and remember that healing is a gradual process. A lot of people joke about how women should be ready to start having sex again six weeks postpartum, but I don't know a single woman who was excited to jump back into bed with her partner after having a baby. If you're anything like me, especially after having my first kid, the idea of something going into my vagina scared the crap out of me. I had stitches, I was nursing so my nipples were sore (and being used almost hourly to feed) and I was still spotting here and there. If my husband had even thought to approach me right at six week, I likely would have killed him.

Open Communication with Your Partner

Communication is the key to any successful relationship, and it becomes even more critical when navigating postpartum intimacy. Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings, concerns, and desires. Share your expectations, and, most importantly, listen to each other. This is a journey you're taking together, so keep those lines of communication wide open. If he's more ready to get in on than you, that's okay but you shouldn't feel pressure to be there just yet.

Address Physical Changes

Your body may not look or feel the same as it did before childbirth, and that's entirely normal. Embrace the changes, and if certain physical aspects are causing discomfort, don't hesitate to address them. Consult with your healthcare provider, and remember that there's beauty in the strength your body has shown throughout this process.

Start Slowly

When you feel ready to dip your toes back into the waters of intimacy, take it slow. Begin with non-sexual physical touch and affection. Re-establishing a sense of closeness through cuddling, hugging, and gentle kisses can lay the foundation for more intimate moments if and when you're ready.

Explore New Perspectives on Intimacy

Having a baby changes your perspective on many things, including getting busy. Consider exploring new aspects of your relationship, discovering what brings you both joy and connection. Whether it's shared parenting duties, taking care of each other, or finding new ways to express love, intimacy can manifest in various forms.

Prioritize Lubrication

Postpartum hormonal changes can impact vaginal lubrication. If dryness becomes a concern, there's no shame in introducing a good-quality lubricant into the mix. It can enhance comfort and make the experience more enjoyable for both partners. Lubrication isn't just in a tube...this applies to new positions, sex toys, and role-playing. Have fun with it.

Be Patient with Yourself

Patience is key. You might not feel the same level of desire or arousal initially, and that's absolutely normal. It's kind of hard to feel like dropping ya drawers when you were just wearing diapers and constantly have a baby (or two) that almost solely depends on you daily. Allow yourself the grace to rediscover your sexuality at your own pace. Trust that, with time, things will naturally fall into place.

Call In The Professionals

If you find that postpartum intimacy is challenging or causing emotional distress (or worse, pain), seeking professional guidance can be incredibly beneficial. A certified sex therapist or counselor can offer support, tools, and strategies tailored to your unique situation. No, it's not weird and HELL NO you shouldn't feel shame about it.

Conclusion: Embrace a New Chapter

To all the amazing moms out there, remember that navigating postpartum intimacy is a journey. There's no one-size-fits-all approach, and every couple's experience is unique. Trust your instincts, communicate openly with your partner, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. You're embarking on a new chapter of your relationship, and it's one filled with love, resilience, and growth.

Wishing you all the love and orgasms in the world lol.

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